THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA!

SUNNY THOMAS

My computer has joined Mamata, Mulayam, Jaya and the Big Wigs of BJP, all prime ministerial aspirants, much against my wishes. It has joined the nation-wide protest against the Prime Minister’s betrayal of the people, who have elected him to cushion them off against the turbulence of the global economy. Instead, he is protecting the looters and the hooters of our nation – the looters who plunder our natural resources and the hooters who spread the canard that the Indian economy is going to be downgraded unless FDI is granted entry permit that sent shivers down the spines of the economist Prime Minister.  

You don’t seem to understand my problem, which is personal. There is no way my computer will type the Prime Minister’s name correctly. Ever since the diesel price hike, my computer types Manmohan SIN instead. In panic, I called an expert who instantly diagnosed it as computer virus. On his recommendation, I bought a double anti-virus but my computer was defiant. I called another expert who recommended a double-double anti-virus, and, lo and behold, it totally blacks out our venerable coal minister’s name!  

 

A fifty per cent roll back might prompt my computer typing Manmohan SING instead of that horrendous surname. Any day, it sounds better than FDI SING. I am absolutely certain that my computer won’t budge till there is a total rollback, and in that case Mamata might roll back her protests, and the allies might become allies once again, as if there was no diesel price hike and no Mamata protests. And my computer might start working as though it never struck work.  

  

Shadow prime ministers already live in 2014, and Mamata’s outburst on television cameras was her address to the nation. Through her Pro-Poor Rhetoric, she was declaring herself leader of the fourth front that would take her to the PMO.  Mulayam, leader of the third front, has already declared that he is not a saint, or to speak the language of Barkis in David Copperfield, Malayam is willin’. Jaya, leader of the fifth front, is busy with Kudankulam nuclear plant, and will always welcome any event that would catapult her to the PMO. 

Modi’s diatribes make him fit for Gujarat, and totally unfit for outside Gujarat. Nitish Kumar, the most qualified man for the Prime Minister’s job, has proved his courage of conviction by daring Modi and Raj Thackeray.  

Think of the jam UPA got stuck in. If they (Cong men) accept all that Mamata demands (a complete roll back and FDI in cold storage), the Prime Minister would be reduced to a lame duck. UPA’s options are jettison the Reforms Agenda (with or without the Prime Minister) for a Pro-Poor Image and share the platform with Mamata, or boldly adopt a Pro-Reforms Agenda and face the consequences.

Congress is in a Catch 22 situation. In power, BJP would adopt the same reforms they are opposing now, of course, with some window-dressing, and take the credit for leading the country to the path of employment and prosperity.  If UPA adopts a Pro-Poor Platform with Mamata, the gains are instant but short term. Ruined if they don’t reform, and ruined if they do. 

After the television drama, things would settle down and the allies would be allies once again, with some give and take (or even if they support from outside because Trinamool Congress ministers were not contributing to good governance, any way). After the coal scam, Adarsh scam, 2G scam, and Commonwealth scam, there is no question of the PM losing his face. And in 2014, he would demit office as the happiest Prime Minister ever – because he doesn’t have to deal with Mamata any more!    

Like Santiago, in Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea, the Prime Minister would realize that politics (life) is an empty shell. All that would remain in his grip would be the skeleton of the economic reforms as Santiago’s giant fish that he caught and fought to bring it to the shore.